Basic Friendly

Tomorrow we will look at Matthew 25.  Feeding the hungry, giving water to the thirsty, welcoming the stranger, caring for the sick, visiting prisoners, providing restroom facilities for people waiting for the Rodeo parade.

That is what we were doing today.  Passing out cookies and water for folks lined up for hours for the parade.  But we got tremendous feedback for letting folks know our bathrooms were available.

Well, that's obvious.

Blue Walmart bags

For our homework last week, we ran into a bit of a snag.  We had this great idea for helping the world, a bit at a time.  Bags for groceries – not exactly a unique idea, but a sound one.  We thought, bags with the Beginning Friendly logo on them.  Pick them up and print and get to church.  No such luck – it would have cost a fortune.  So Paul got some cheap pretty blue bags when he was in Sacramento, the only ones he could find.  From Walmart.  Ok, not what we had imagined, but . . .  Well that is the question.

Can Walmart be friendly? 

It raises some huge questions.  Small businesses around town aren’t too happy about Walmart.  Some things going around about how evil it is are myths, or are past history.  But, it is true that a lot of the money that goes to Walmart goes out of town.  So, does money and business have to stay local to be friendly?  Or fruit, or jobs, or – well the list goes on and on.  We are eco friendly when we eat stuff that is grown close by.  But we also can become insulated, both socially and economically.  Outsourcing takes jobs away from the rich higher paying places and takes them to places that pay poorer wages.  But does it really move money from the rich to the poor, or does it just increase the profits of the very rich?  Where does a call for justice in substandard wages in Haiti really hide a fear of losing jobs where we are?  

What is friendly to the world?  Those are harder questions than I can answer, but they are really worth asking. 

So Walmart bags – to use or not to use, that is the question.  

Welcome to the 21st Century -- Almost

Last Sunday I was a bit frustrated because while we were getting ready to talk about friendliness in the country, I had set up the possibility of throwing a Skype screen up on the computer at church and having a conversation in the sermon with one someone who is serving in Afghanistan.  Ted, welcome to the 21st century!  A good question for church last week was what moved you to serve our country in this way and how can we be friendly to you this week.  Not a bad question for the Fourth of July.

But we weren't ready for the 21st century after all.  The connection couldn't be made.  We will try again soon.

In an older congregation, I am often asked about young generations who do so much relating on Facebook or text messages.  We have all noticed "kids" sitting next to one another texting each other.  What kind of a relationship is that.  But I think about the enormity of what we tried to do in church last week.  Very close to us, we have the ability to create communities we carry around in our pockets.  My daughter has an iPod and can use Facetime to talk to a bunch of her friends any time.  Though Skype and conference calls, I can sit all by myself on a hill in Fortuna and talk face to face with a friend or a counselor or a resource person in the Bay Area (or probably the moon).

Soon, we will have the kids in Sunday School partnering with a church in some other part of the world.  They can make friends with someone eleven time zones away. They can see what their mission money is doing right now.  And when we sing "In Christ there is no East or West" we could actually sing it with a soldier in Afghanistan.  Friendliness is, or can, be global.

I am not sure I think like that yet, but the possibilities are staggering.  I am sure that something changes in my relationships to my neighbors, and perhaps something is lost.  But I am asking the question, as a pastor, what it means to visit a member of the congregation twice a year when that young member talks to every one of their friends four or five times a day.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Well Paul and I finally got it done last week. 

Weeks ago we sent out a letter to all the pastors in town inviting them to tea in the afternoon.  We got all prepared, set the date, readied the refreshment (well he did ).  Prayed for the event.  And showed up. . . .   and waited. 

As the time to meet drew close, arrived, and passed, our moods went from watching eagerly, to figuring out what we could do with the extra time, to a pox on all  . . .   well, that’s when Dave showed up.  And we had a lovely time with 50% more people than we had when we started.  Great statistics.  However, the reality of the event was far short of the numbers that we expected. On the other hand, I think the three of us began to fall in love with each other.  That slow process that takes years and years to accomplish started as we got to know one another better.

That is an answer to a lot of this summer.  Friendliness plans happen all over the place, but friendliness really only happens with one person at a time.  Even if there is a crowd, friendliness has to occur one human being to another.  Even if we have the greatest event in the world planned, one by one.  We could gripe about the “poor turn-out” but, in fact, is wasn’t poor at all – it was rich in possibility and rich in the friendships that got started. I really like Dave and I really like Paul.  That is a good start to anything.

So, we take a next step, maybe another person and in seven years and six months we’ll have gotten there. 

That’s not bad work.

Friendly Fortuna -- Shhh

I have heard all kinds of good things about Friendly Fortuna this week -- little ways that people have been touched and look forward to coming to town.

One of the most interesting was someone I can't mention.  This person told me there is a business where employees like to do business in Fortuna, they look forward to it.  But the company policy is they can't make public statements like that (a rule probably more for negative comments than positive, but it has grown to be both).

Isn't that interesting.  We get to the point (probably from litigation) where we can't tell each other what we like or dislike about being around each other.  It is like middle school, the last person you can tell you like or don't is the person you like or don't.  Don't we learn what makes us friendly or not from honest feedback?  And the strength to take honest criticism from each other has to be a trait of a truly friendly town or church or family that honors the diversity within it.

Not Always Friendly, and that's OK

Walked into the doors of the church on Friday to get my 10,000 things done and was immediately aware that my church was not friendly.  I  nearly fell flat with the overpowering smell of varathane (or whatever).  We had redone the floor of the fellowship hall.  So, we invited everyone out of the building for a couple of days- enter at your own peril.

It reminded me that there are valid reasons why we are not friendly sometimes.  Our responsibility at those moments is to warn people, and let them know this is temporary.  "Floor redone.  Place stinks.  Come back on Sunday."  or "I am so busy I can't breath right now.  Call me tomorrow."  "I am totally grumpy today.  But I will need a hug in about an hour."

It is ok to not be friendly sometimes.  But it is friendlier to warn folks and invite them back later.

Innoculation

I can't remember where I heard it.  But, there is some practicing theory about public health.  In order to kill a disease, we don't need to vaccinate everyone (though we probably have to tell everyone we have to vaccinate them to get them to do it).  But depending upon the bug to kill and how it works, we have to deal with a percentage.

I am wondering about friendliness growing in a community with drugs.

I am told that in Arcata, one in eight homes is a drug house.  The percentage (so I am told) is close in Fortuna.  These are homes that are probably closed -- they certainly look closed.  Folks are doing something illegal and they don't want others in.  How many closed homes from drug making, severe alcoholism, family abuse, drug use does it take before it is impossible to actually have a friendly city.  How many times can we say, "I don't want you here" or "Don't look too close" before what we have created is isolation not friendliness.

It is where pleasant smiles and waving at each other lots just isn't enough.  Can a town's economy be based on something illegal and still be friendly?  Or do we build an economy that makes us strangers from one another?  Issues we can't talk about, intimacy that can't develop.

When I came to town as a pastor, I was warned many times to be careful where I went and that there were some places just not to go near -- some places the police were afraid to go.  How can we get over grief if we are afraid to talk about why someone might have really slid off the road, or why their house really burned down?

How many of us does it take working in this industry, on production or consumption, before we inoculate ourself against friendliness and make it impossible to be a hospitable town?